Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just found a bag of teeth...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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