ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
