Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We left an ass print on the piano.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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