my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
