Who wears a wallet chain?!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
