Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
