out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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