Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
