You really coming over, don't trick.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
