I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
