Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
