planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
