Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Bring me that man meat
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize