dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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