If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
