My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
