He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
