So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
