Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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