"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
ttyl tear gas
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize