PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
