i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
