Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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