she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
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