You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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