I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize