Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
