Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
