he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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