Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you will always have a special place in my vag
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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