so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
