well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize