She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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