nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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