i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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