How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
