I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
