apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
