Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
