I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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