So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
