You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
