i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
