I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
just found out that she named her cat after me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm really busy with my period
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