home. puking in laundry basket.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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