ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
