my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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