They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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