I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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