I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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