Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
