So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize