Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
how does that bad decision feel?
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