let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize