was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
