Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was born a porn star she said
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
