He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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