I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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