I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
