Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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