Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
