In America we eat man semen.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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