So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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