look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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