How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize