The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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