Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Randomize
