im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
