I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
