I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
