yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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