im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
