I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I love you. Go after that dick
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