are you still at the devil's house?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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