he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
