if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
