put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
